Finding Your Marbles
A Mental Health Survival Guide

The other day I had a terrible experience on one of the mental health forums where I am a member. A few members launched an attack on me, something that occurs all too common on any forum, but on a mental health forum they can be particularly disruptive. After I was unsuccessful in my attempts to get the members to withdraw their attack, I wrote to the forum administrators to complain.

Their response caught me off guard, to say the least:

You are known to be outspoken so you shouldn’t be surprised when you get attacked by other members.name withheld

Well.

Continue reading “What To Do When You are Being Bullied” »

Talking about your mental illness is challenging, and what you say is only slightly less important than how you say it. Most people know very little about mental illness, and what they do know can be biased by myths and misconceptions. This can be a challenge if you are going to tell someone about your own mental illness. Not only do you have to overcome your own fears of disclosure, but you also need to overcome the other person’s possible lack of understanding about mental illness.

Your disclosure may be one of the most important conversations of your life, so knowing what to say is very important. In this article I will talk about a few of the things that worked for me, and I’ll share some of my own advice and thoughts on how you can talk to someone else about your mental illness.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 4: How to Tell Someone Else About Your Mental Illness” »

Disclosing your mental illness to another person may be one of the most important decisions of your life. If you pick the right person, you could gain a level of support and understanding that will be a major source of strength for you through the hard times. If you pick the wrong person, it could be very damaging.

Choosing who to tell about your mental illness is a tough decision with lots of implications. In this section of the disclosure series I will try to share some of the things that worked for me when I was faced with the same choice.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 3: Who Should You Tell About Your Mental Illness?” »

“I Have To Tell You Something”

This was how I started. I was sitting in a bar with a friend of mine, and I was about to tell him about my experiences with depression and child abuse. I had already gone “semi-public” with my story, as I had spoken to therapists, the police, my family and a few other people, but this was the first time that I was speaking to a friend about it.

I was scared half to death. Even though I had been through years of therapy, and I had spent hours in police interviews, I was terrified that my friend would not believe me, or that he would laugh at me when I told him about what I had been going through.

But, despite those fears, I told him anyway, and he didn’t laugh at me. I actually don’t remember what he did say, because most of the evening is still a blur, but I do remember that I felt much better after I told him.

After I spoke to my friend, I began to talk to other people about my abuse and struggle with depression, and I found that the more people I told, the less frightening it got. Today, I can talk openly about both subjects with complete strangers, and although I still feel a little twinge of fear now and then, my fears of disclosure are mainly gone.

So how did I get to this point? Let me start 4 years ago, just after my diagnosis with depression.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 2: How I Overcame My Fear of Talking About My Mental Illness” »

Wow do I hear that question a lot.

I think that I can confidently speak for every person who is suffering from a mental illness when I say that disclosure is their single biggest concern. Before I disclosed, I spent a lot of time worrying what my friends and families would think of me if they found out that I suffered from depression. Even now, after I have recovered and I am completely public about my history with mental illness, I sometimes worry if I have done the right thing by disclosing.

Talking about mental illness is very tough, and it is very important to make sure that you are telling people about your mental illness for the right reasons. Disclosing can put you in a very vulnerable position, so if you are not completely comfortable about why you are disclosing, you could be setting yourself up for a painful and damaging experience.

However, there is probably no greater step that you can take in your recovery than disclosing. Telling other people about your mental illness can be a very liberating experience, and it can bring you an incredible amount of support and self-confidence. The important thing is to do it for the right reasons.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 1: Should You Tell People About Your Mental Illness?” »

“How do I tell other people that I have a mental illness?”

It’s the million-dollar question. When, or if, should you tell your friends and family about your mental illness?

Disclosure is one of the biggest steps in recovery from mental illness, and it is also one of the most terrifying steps to take. People with mental illness face an incredible amount of discrimination in our society, so many sufferers are afraid to break the silence about their mental illness. In some ways, these fears are justified. There is a chance that if you disclose, you will not be believed, or some people will judge you and even discriminate against you. You might find that people treat you differently after you disclose.

However, that doesn’t mean that you should keep your mental illness a secret forever. In my opinion, there are major benefits to telling other people about your mental illness, and disclosure can be a very positive step in your healing. It was in mine.

This week I will be writing a series of 4 articles on disclosure, covering topics such as whether you should disclose, overcoming fear of disclosure, and who you should tell first. I’ll be sharing my own experiences with going public, as well as any advice or warnings that I have picked up along the way.

Continue reading “Series: Telling Other People About Your Mental Illness” »

I have to admit that I liked Ask Dan and Jennifer the moment I got to their site. Under some sexy pictures of the authors, Dan and Jennifer, was this headline:

“The Right Way and the Wrong Way to Kiss a Woman”

I thought, “All right! A relationship advice site with information that I can use!”

I was hooked. Not only were these guys good-looking, they had great relationship and dating advice for that real people could use. I loved their straightforward yet playful style.

Continue reading “Blog Review: Ask Dan and Jennifer” »

Ok, don’t get me wrong. I love parties. They are loads of fun and they are a great way to meet people. However, I admit that I struggled with the title of this article because I didn’t want to make it sound like I thought of parties as something that had to be “survived.” (my original title was “How to Have Fun at a Party” but I hated that one even more.)

However, for someone with anxiety, parties can be pretty scary, but it doesn’t have to be that way. People with anxiety can enjoy parties as much as anyone else! The trick is to develop some skills to manage your anxiety so you can go and have a good time. So, please forgive me for the crappy title, and let’s talk about parties.

Continue reading “How to Survive a Party” »

Here’s a neat little trick I learned back when I was doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for depression. CBT is a type of therapy that works on “inappropriate thinking,” I.E., it is based on the theory that mood disorders can be caused by, or at least worsened by, inappropriate emotional responses to events. Or, in other words, when you are depressed, you are getting upset when you probably shouldn’t be. It’s pretty cool and it’s easy to learn, but it takes a bit of practice.

Continue reading “Ten Minute Therapy” »