Finding Your Marbles
A Mental Health Survival Guide

Talking about your mental illness is challenging, and what you say is only slightly less important than how you say it. Most people know very little about mental illness, and what they do know can be biased by myths and misconceptions. This can be a challenge if you are going to tell someone about your own mental illness. Not only do you have to overcome your own fears of disclosure, but you also need to overcome the other person’s possible lack of understanding about mental illness.

Your disclosure may be one of the most important conversations of your life, so knowing what to say is very important. In this article I will talk about a few of the things that worked for me, and I’ll share some of my own advice and thoughts on how you can talk to someone else about your mental illness.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 4: How to Tell Someone Else About Your Mental Illness” »

“I Have To Tell You Something”

This was how I started. I was sitting in a bar with a friend of mine, and I was about to tell him about my experiences with depression and child abuse. I had already gone “semi-public” with my story, as I had spoken to therapists, the police, my family and a few other people, but this was the first time that I was speaking to a friend about it.

I was scared half to death. Even though I had been through years of therapy, and I had spent hours in police interviews, I was terrified that my friend would not believe me, or that he would laugh at me when I told him about what I had been going through.

But, despite those fears, I told him anyway, and he didn’t laugh at me. I actually don’t remember what he did say, because most of the evening is still a blur, but I do remember that I felt much better after I told him.

After I spoke to my friend, I began to talk to other people about my abuse and struggle with depression, and I found that the more people I told, the less frightening it got. Today, I can talk openly about both subjects with complete strangers, and although I still feel a little twinge of fear now and then, my fears of disclosure are mainly gone.

So how did I get to this point? Let me start 4 years ago, just after my diagnosis with depression.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 2: How I Overcame My Fear of Talking About My Mental Illness” »

Wow do I hear that question a lot.

I think that I can confidently speak for every person who is suffering from a mental illness when I say that disclosure is their single biggest concern. Before I disclosed, I spent a lot of time worrying what my friends and families would think of me if they found out that I suffered from depression. Even now, after I have recovered and I am completely public about my history with mental illness, I sometimes worry if I have done the right thing by disclosing.

Talking about mental illness is very tough, and it is very important to make sure that you are telling people about your mental illness for the right reasons. Disclosing can put you in a very vulnerable position, so if you are not completely comfortable about why you are disclosing, you could be setting yourself up for a painful and damaging experience.

However, there is probably no greater step that you can take in your recovery than disclosing. Telling other people about your mental illness can be a very liberating experience, and it can bring you an incredible amount of support and self-confidence. The important thing is to do it for the right reasons.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 1: Should You Tell People About Your Mental Illness?” »

“How do I tell other people that I have a mental illness?”

It’s the million-dollar question. When, or if, should you tell your friends and family about your mental illness?

Disclosure is one of the biggest steps in recovery from mental illness, and it is also one of the most terrifying steps to take. People with mental illness face an incredible amount of discrimination in our society, so many sufferers are afraid to break the silence about their mental illness. In some ways, these fears are justified. There is a chance that if you disclose, you will not be believed, or some people will judge you and even discriminate against you. You might find that people treat you differently after you disclose.

However, that doesn’t mean that you should keep your mental illness a secret forever. In my opinion, there are major benefits to telling other people about your mental illness, and disclosure can be a very positive step in your healing. It was in mine.

This week I will be writing a series of 4 articles on disclosure, covering topics such as whether you should disclose, overcoming fear of disclosure, and who you should tell first. I’ll be sharing my own experiences with going public, as well as any advice or warnings that I have picked up along the way.

Continue reading “Series: Telling Other People About Your Mental Illness” »

In Part 3 of this series: “What To Do After Each Session,” I talked about what you should do after each therapy session. In this section, I will discuss how therapy relationships end, how to tell when your therapy relationship is coming to a positive end, what to do when your therapy relationship breaks down, and how to manage your “after therapy” relationship with your therapist.

Therapy relationships are not permanent, and eventually, your therapy will come to an end. You will either end the relationship yourself, or your therapist will end it, or you will come to a mutual agreement that you no longer need to continue in therapy. Leaving therapy can be a frightening and emotional experience. However, in a healthy therapy relationship, leaving therapy can be a form of rebirth. If you had a positive experience with your therapy, it will form a strong foundation on which you can build a healthy and happy life.

Continue reading “Therapy Series Part 4: Leaving Your Therapist” »

“He’s only big because of his bounces”
– Winnie the Pooh

Courage is one of those things that everyone tries to understand, but that nobody really gets. When most people talk about courage, what they really mean is “fearlessness.” The two concepts couldn’t be more different.

Children are taught that having courage means being fearless. Courage is “ignoring your fear and standing up to danger, no matter how scared you are.” In other words, kids are taught to be Tigger. Brave kids aren’t afraid of anything, and kids who show fear are weak. Sound familiar?

Continue reading “How Winnie the Pooh Taught Me Courage” »