Finding Your Marbles
A Mental Health Survival Guide

There are hundreds of online mental health forums, covering everything from depression to synesthesia. Some of them are quite large, like the About.com forums, and others are grassroots forums that emerged around small communities of mental illness sufferers who joined together to support each other as they struggled to cope with their mental illness and hopefully get on the road to recovery.

Online forums can be a great resource to help you manage your mental illness and to help you with your recovery. They provide you with a great opportunity to meet with other people who are suffering from the same conditions and talk about your problems in a safe, anonymous environment.

I have participated in several mental health forums, both as a member and as an administrator, and I have written this guide to both help you choose a mental health forum and to get the best out of your mental health forum experience.

There are four main factors that indicate the quality of an online mental health forum. They are: Culture, Security, Problems, and Recovery. Each of these is equally important, and in your search for a good forum it is a good idea to ensure that the forum that you choose has addressed all four factors.

Culture

Culture is very important. Some forums are very good at this. For example, my favorite forum, Building Foundations has a very open, welcoming culture, and has a clear and consistent mission. It is a very small forum by web standards, but their combination of openness and acceptance makes them one of the best mental health forums on the net.

One of the things that Building Foundations does very well is the way that it communicates its mission to new visitors. The very first thing that you see on the site is a section entitled “About Us,” which contains welcoming information, staff lists, and, most importantly the Founder’s life story. Immediately upon arriving at the forum you have all the information that you need to understand what the people behind the forum believe, and you have all the necessary information on how the forum works.

When you are checking out a new forum, be very picky. If a forum does not clearly and quickly get its message across to you, or if a forum “feels” impersonal or hostile, then it might be an indication that the forum may not be the best place for you. Mental health forums should feel friendly, inclusive and non-judgemental. Pop over to Building Foundations and you will see what I mean. It is a good example of a mental health forum done right.

Another important aspect of culture is style and leadership. Some forums, such as Crazyboards have a very distinctive style. Make sure that you are comfortable with a forum’s style before you join the discussion. Crazyboards in particular has a definite edge, and although I consider them to be one of the best mental health forums, their style definitely takes some getting used to.

Leadership is really a matter of knowing who is in charge and what they are like. Good forums will have staff lists and usually a bio of the forum owner or administrator. Staff should be open, friendly and patient, especially when dealing with new members. When you are checking out a new forum, feel free to write an email to one of the staff, asking them if they could help you get to know the forum a bit better. In a good forum, the staff will be more than willing to help you out.

Security

Forums are public, and therefore they come with all the security and safety issues that the Internet brings. Although most forums will have moderators and administrators monitoring the forum, there are still some significant safety issues to keep in mind while participating on a mental health forum.

First of all, be extremely careful with your personal information, even with forum staff. Most forums will try to protect personal information, but the truth is that anything that you post on a forum could be used against you. Be very careful posting specific information about your location, age, and your mental illness.

Second, try to identify the main forum members. For new members, it is usually best to “lurk” around the forum for a few months to get a better idea who the different players are, and how the discussions usually evolve. This will help you when you decide to start participating in the conversation.

Third, familiarize yourself with the forum rules. Not all forums are the same, and while some forums, like Building Foundations, have very strict rules governing conduct and member privacy, other forums might not be as strict about protecting their members. Make sure you understand how you are protected, and what you are permitted to do or say.

Problems

Like all communities, mental health forums have their share of problems. Abusive members or staff, fraud, victimization and flamewars are only a few of the hazards that you might come across.

Good forums will act quickly to stop any of these problems from causing major disruption to their communities, but here are a few pointers on how to survive a few common forum problems.

Abuse

Abuse on a mental health forum can be very subtle. As a moderator I have seen a couple of forums almost get destroyed by a few abusive members who were not outwardly abusive, but who engaged in backstabbing and gossip. Before they were finally stopped they had virtually undermined all trust in the forum.

The best way to deal with abuse is to keep away from private messages until you are comfortable with the forum, and to be very careful about posting. It is far better to appear distant or unfriendly rather than getting lured in by one of these abusers.

There have also been cases where forum staff members have been abusive to members. In these cases the best thing to do is report the staff member to the forum administrator and stay out of any direct conflict with the staff member. If the situation doesn’t improve, it is probably best to leave the forum and move on to a new, safer community.

Fraud
Avoiding fraud and entrapment is similar to avoiding abuse. Be very suspicious of members who appear to want your personal information or who make offers of help “outside the forum.” Unfortunately, this type of problem is very difficult to prevent, so it will really be your job to protect yourself against fraud.

Flamewars

Flamewars happen. Sometimes one or more members will get in hostile arguments on the forum, and it seems like by the time it is over, everyone has been drawn into the battle. If you see a flamewar emerging, the best action is to drop out of the discussion. Refrain from commenting, unless you want to get drawn into an unpleasant confrontation.

Recovery

Normally, your main reason for visiting an online mental health forum will be to learn information that will assist you in your recovery from your condition. Recovery can mean many things to many people, from learning coping skills to deal with a chronic problem such as bipolar disorder, to learning healing skills to recover from a more temporary condition such as anxiety or depression.

Most good mental health forums will be interested in your recovery, and they will see themselves as part of a team helping you overcome your mental illness. These forums are pure gold. Other forums are more management-oriented, and they will focus on helping you develop and share coping skills for dealing with your mental illness. These forums are very good as well.

Whichever type of forum you choose, you should be thinking of how the forum can assist with your recovery.

I credit Building Foundations with a huge part of my recovery from depression. Not only were the members and the staff very supportive and informed about depression, but the forum was a safe place where I could discuss my recovery issues with other people in similar situations.

When you choose a forum, pay special attention for topics and threads about recovery. A good forum will have an active conversation going on about aspects of recovery such as victory stories (I love these) shared experiences, and congratulations to members who have achieved major milestones in their recovery.

On the flip side, try to avoid forums that focus on “pain and suffering” stories, negative posts, and where the members show little to no support to members who are recovering. This negativity will eventually drag you down with it, and your recovery will suffer as a result.

Also, after you have been at the forum for a while, start planning your “graduation date” from the forum. This date will be when you no longer need the forum for your recovery. This doesn’t mean that you will stop participating in the discussions, but it means that your role at the forum has changed from someone who needs the forum to someone who helps the forum.

In general, at a good forum, the administrators will notice that you have been recovering and they will probably invite you to take on a more active role in the community, either as a topic leader or even as an administrator.

Finally, if you do find a good online forum, drop us a line here and let us know what site you found, and what you liked about it. I have already mentioned my two favorites, Building Foundations and Crazyboards, but I am willing to bet that there are other good mental health forums out there.

Anxiety Bipolar Disorder Depression Health Mental Health Support

This entry was posted on Friday, May 4th, 2007 at 6:53 pm and is filed under Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Mental Health, Support. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment or trackback from your site.

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