Finding Your Marbles
A Mental Health Survival Guide

I’m not really sure how to start this post, so I’m just going to jump right in. Here goes.

When I started Finding Your Marbles, I didn’t really have a plan in mind for the site. I knew that I wanted to share some of the things that I learned during my own recovery from depression, but beyond that I had no idea of how I wanted the site to grow or even what kind of impact it would have. I just wanted to write and share my story, and I was willing to let the rest just kind of take care of itself.

With that in mind, I guess I should not have been surprised by what did happen. Finding Your Marbles grew, all right, and it grew in directions that I could never have even dreamed it would.

A few weeks ago I got an email from one of my readers, a person who is in a country with no facilities for people with mental illnesses, and who was facing the prospect of being killed if they even revealed what had happened to them. (they were a childhood rape survivor) The email was basically thanking me for the site, but the last line really stuck with me. It was:

“I’m just glad to know that I am not alone in the world.”

That hit me like a ton of bricks.

It’s real.

This site, and what I am doing with it, is absolutely real. And that was not the only email. I have others from people who say that my writing saved their lives, that I have given them hope for their own futures.

I have to admit that it overwhelmed me, and I found myself unable to continue writing. I still can’t write. I have a bunch of half-finished articles that are sitting on my computer, and I can’t bring myself to finish them. I know this is going to sound weird, but I never expected this site to have an impact like it has had. It has gone well beyond anything I could have anticipated, and I don’t really know how to deal with it.

I was at dinner last night with a friend of mine, and I was telling her about my struggle with the site. Her advice was to write an article explaining how I feel about the responses to Finding Your Marbles, and to let you, my readers, know how I feel about it. So here it is.

I am absolutely humbled at the courage and strength that my readers have shown, especially those who have written to me at risk of their own lives. In no way do I deserve your thanks, in fact it is me who should be thanking you. If my writing has helped you save your life, then I would say that I have only helped you light a lamp that was already in your heart. And for that, I am profoundly grateful.

With that said, I need to step back from Finding Your Marbles. I am not going to abandon the site, in fact, the responses to the site have helped me make a decision that I have been avoiding for a very long time. I need to step away from the site for a while so that I can focus all my attention on what I am going to do next. Right now all I can say is that I plan on continuing the mission that I have started with Finding Your Marbles, but I will be doing it in a different way.

For those of you who are new to the site, welcome, and I hope you find something here that helps you. Please don’t hesitate to write me if you need anything or even if you just need to tell your story. I won’t be writing on the site, but I will still be available via email.

I really don’t know how to end this, so I will do it in my usual fashion, with a video. May you all find the song of your soul, and may I be lucky enough to hear you sing it.

And special thanks to Julie, for helping me see.

We will meet again.

Scott

(Special thanks also to Jennifer at Blogarsay for finding this video.)

General News

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 13th, 2007 at 1:08 pm and is filed under General News. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment or trackback from your site.

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