Finding Your Marbles
A Mental Health Survival Guide

“I Have To Tell You Something”

This was how I started. I was sitting in a bar with a friend of mine, and I was about to tell him about my experiences with depression and child abuse. I had already gone “semi-public” with my story, as I had spoken to therapists, the police, my family and a few other people, but this was the first time that I was speaking to a friend about it.

I was scared half to death. Even though I had been through years of therapy, and I had spent hours in police interviews, I was terrified that my friend would not believe me, or that he would laugh at me when I told him about what I had been going through.

But, despite those fears, I told him anyway, and he didn’t laugh at me. I actually don’t remember what he did say, because most of the evening is still a blur, but I do remember that I felt much better after I told him.

After I spoke to my friend, I began to talk to other people about my abuse and struggle with depression, and I found that the more people I told, the less frightening it got. Today, I can talk openly about both subjects with complete strangers, and although I still feel a little twinge of fear now and then, my fears of disclosure are mainly gone.

So how did I get to this point? Let me start 4 years ago, just after my diagnosis with depression.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 2: How I Overcame My Fear of Talking About My Mental Illness” »

Wow do I hear that question a lot.

I think that I can confidently speak for every person who is suffering from a mental illness when I say that disclosure is their single biggest concern. Before I disclosed, I spent a lot of time worrying what my friends and families would think of me if they found out that I suffered from depression. Even now, after I have recovered and I am completely public about my history with mental illness, I sometimes worry if I have done the right thing by disclosing.

Talking about mental illness is very tough, and it is very important to make sure that you are telling people about your mental illness for the right reasons. Disclosing can put you in a very vulnerable position, so if you are not completely comfortable about why you are disclosing, you could be setting yourself up for a painful and damaging experience.

However, there is probably no greater step that you can take in your recovery than disclosing. Telling other people about your mental illness can be a very liberating experience, and it can bring you an incredible amount of support and self-confidence. The important thing is to do it for the right reasons.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 1: Should You Tell People About Your Mental Illness?” »

“How do I tell other people that I have a mental illness?”

It’s the million-dollar question. When, or if, should you tell your friends and family about your mental illness?

Disclosure is one of the biggest steps in recovery from mental illness, and it is also one of the most terrifying steps to take. People with mental illness face an incredible amount of discrimination in our society, so many sufferers are afraid to break the silence about their mental illness. In some ways, these fears are justified. There is a chance that if you disclose, you will not be believed, or some people will judge you and even discriminate against you. You might find that people treat you differently after you disclose.

However, that doesn’t mean that you should keep your mental illness a secret forever. In my opinion, there are major benefits to telling other people about your mental illness, and disclosure can be a very positive step in your healing. It was in mine.

This week I will be writing a series of 4 articles on disclosure, covering topics such as whether you should disclose, overcoming fear of disclosure, and who you should tell first. I’ll be sharing my own experiences with going public, as well as any advice or warnings that I have picked up along the way.

Continue reading “Series: Telling Other People About Your Mental Illness” »

Miguel over at the Think Happy Thoughts Happiness Blog (I absolutely love that name) writes about the importance of writing down negative thoughts.

Writing down negative thoughts is a great idea and it is a very good way to help manage depression and anxiety. By writing out your negative thoughts you get them out of your mind and down on paper where you can study them and figure out if they are “real” thoughts or if they are just being sent to you by your depression. When you see your thoughts on paper they may not seem as overwhelmingly negative as they did inside your head, or, as Miguel puts it:

“Your mind recognizes the difference between what “should” be happening and what actually is happening. The greater the difference between OUGHT and IS, the more cognitive dissonance is felt emotionally. Close inspection of these untrue beliefs is the solution to negative thinking. A person can revise their beliefs by investigating them.”

Continue reading “Link: Write Down Negative Thoughts Immediately” »

Therapy is expensive. Really expensive. I used to joke with my therapist that for the amount of money that I spent on therapy I could have gone on a cruise, or at least had a great weekend in Vegas.

One thing to keep in mind when you are trying to figure out how to pay for therapy is that therapy is very important. Your mental health should be one of your top priorities. Therefore, when you are trying to balance your budget, or when you are looking for a way to pay for your therapy, try to keep things in perspective. Think of any money that you spend on therapy not as an expense, but as a necessary and positive investment in your future well-being and good mental health.

Continue reading “What to do When You Can’t Afford Therapy” »

I love meditation.

I started meditating about a year ago, and it has made a huge difference in my peace of mind and my health. I am calmer, more relaxed, and I feel a lot better about myself.

Meditation can also be a great way to manage mental illness. Not only is it relaxing, but meditating also helps you center your thoughts and feelings, which enables to you focus on your healing instead of on your symptoms.

I have tried a bunch of different types of meditation, but the one that works the best for me, and the one that I think has had the biggest positive effect on my mental health, is the ancient“Lectio Divina,” meditation style used by Benedictine monks. It takes a little bit of practice, but it’s easy to learn so you’ll be able to get going very quickly.

Continue reading “How To Meditate Like a Monk” »

I am a childhood sexual abuse survivor. I am not saying that to gain your sympathy, nor am I trying to start a movement. I am saying it so that if you are a rape survivor and you are reading this article, you will understand that I know what you are going through. I have been there.

In this article, I will give you a list of 10 things that you can do if you have been raped. Some of them will help you in your recovery, some will help you gain justice, and some are just things that I have learned during my own recovery.

However, before I start, there is one thing that I need to say.

It wasn’t your fault.

Write that down and stick it on your wall. Shout it out loud while you are driving in your car. Say it to yourself every morning.

Because it’s true. No matter what you did, or how you acted, or what you wore, or where you were, being raped was not your fault. Never let anyone convince you that it was your fault. You are innocent.

Continue reading “10 Things To Do if You Have Been Raped” »

This article is dedicated to my friend J. We were talking about self-injury the other day and I said something very stupid about people who self-injure. It was unfair and I apologize.

Self-injury is one of those “misunderstood” aspects of mental health. There are all kinds of myths and misconceptions about people who self-injure, from “they are just seeking attention” to “they are just too cowardly to commit suicide.” The sad truth is that self-injury is neither a cry for attention, nor is it “practice” for suicide. It is an unfortunate side effect of many mental illnesses, most notably depression.

When you feel the urge to self-injure, there are a few things that you can do to help make the feelings go away and keep from hurting yourself. In this article I will talk about a couple of them.

Continue reading “What to do When You Want to Self-Injure” »

Isabella Mori, who is a therapist in Vancouver, has written a great article on the importance of letting go of resentment.

Clinging to bad emotions and angry feelings about people and situations can be very self-destructive, and it also drains you of the valuable energy that you need to stay healthy. In other words, letting go of your resentments is good for your mental health.

Isabella gives some great tips on how to confront and deal resentment, from meditation (my favorite) to “imagination.” (which might soon become my new favorite)

If you find that you just can’t let go of your negative feelings, or that you can’t shake your anger towards another person, then you should give Isabella’s article a read.

Continue reading “Link: Letting Go of Resentments” »

I am one of those lucky people who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as “SAD.” It starts every December; my energy levels drop, my moods change, and I start to have trouble sleeping. Fortunately, I have a couple of ways that I deal with SAD so that it has a minimal impact on my life.

According to the Mood Disorders Society of Canada, nobody really knows what causes SAD. It is thought that the condition is brought on by the body’s response to shorter days and colder temperatures in winter. In general, sufferers report lower energy levels, depressed mood, and, strangely, a huge craving for carbohydrates. (it is this craving that differentiates SAD from depression)

There are lots of treatments available for SAD, such as light boxes, medication and therapy, and they are all worth a try. However, most of the treatments focus on the symptoms and not the underlying condition. To effectively manage SAD, you need make some changes to your lifestyle and habits such as managing your sleeping patterns and habits.

Continue reading “How to Live with Seasonal Affective Disorder” »