Finding Your Marbles
A Mental Health Survival Guide

Talking about your mental illness is challenging, and what you say is only slightly less important than how you say it. Most people know very little about mental illness, and what they do know can be biased by myths and misconceptions. This can be a challenge if you are going to tell someone about your own mental illness. Not only do you have to overcome your own fears of disclosure, but you also need to overcome the other person’s possible lack of understanding about mental illness.

Your disclosure may be one of the most important conversations of your life, so knowing what to say is very important. In this article I will talk about a few of the things that worked for me, and I’ll share some of my own advice and thoughts on how you can talk to someone else about your mental illness.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 4: How to Tell Someone Else About Your Mental Illness” »

Disclosing your mental illness to another person may be one of the most important decisions of your life. If you pick the right person, you could gain a level of support and understanding that will be a major source of strength for you through the hard times. If you pick the wrong person, it could be very damaging.

Choosing who to tell about your mental illness is a tough decision with lots of implications. In this section of the disclosure series I will try to share some of the things that worked for me when I was faced with the same choice.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 3: Who Should You Tell About Your Mental Illness?” »

“I Have To Tell You Something”

This was how I started. I was sitting in a bar with a friend of mine, and I was about to tell him about my experiences with depression and child abuse. I had already gone “semi-public” with my story, as I had spoken to therapists, the police, my family and a few other people, but this was the first time that I was speaking to a friend about it.

I was scared half to death. Even though I had been through years of therapy, and I had spent hours in police interviews, I was terrified that my friend would not believe me, or that he would laugh at me when I told him about what I had been going through.

But, despite those fears, I told him anyway, and he didn’t laugh at me. I actually don’t remember what he did say, because most of the evening is still a blur, but I do remember that I felt much better after I told him.

After I spoke to my friend, I began to talk to other people about my abuse and struggle with depression, and I found that the more people I told, the less frightening it got. Today, I can talk openly about both subjects with complete strangers, and although I still feel a little twinge of fear now and then, my fears of disclosure are mainly gone.

So how did I get to this point? Let me start 4 years ago, just after my diagnosis with depression.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 2: How I Overcame My Fear of Talking About My Mental Illness” »

Wow do I hear that question a lot.

I think that I can confidently speak for every person who is suffering from a mental illness when I say that disclosure is their single biggest concern. Before I disclosed, I spent a lot of time worrying what my friends and families would think of me if they found out that I suffered from depression. Even now, after I have recovered and I am completely public about my history with mental illness, I sometimes worry if I have done the right thing by disclosing.

Talking about mental illness is very tough, and it is very important to make sure that you are telling people about your mental illness for the right reasons. Disclosing can put you in a very vulnerable position, so if you are not completely comfortable about why you are disclosing, you could be setting yourself up for a painful and damaging experience.

However, there is probably no greater step that you can take in your recovery than disclosing. Telling other people about your mental illness can be a very liberating experience, and it can bring you an incredible amount of support and self-confidence. The important thing is to do it for the right reasons.

Continue reading “Disclosure Series Part 1: Should You Tell People About Your Mental Illness?” »

“How do I tell other people that I have a mental illness?”

It’s the million-dollar question. When, or if, should you tell your friends and family about your mental illness?

Disclosure is one of the biggest steps in recovery from mental illness, and it is also one of the most terrifying steps to take. People with mental illness face an incredible amount of discrimination in our society, so many sufferers are afraid to break the silence about their mental illness. In some ways, these fears are justified. There is a chance that if you disclose, you will not be believed, or some people will judge you and even discriminate against you. You might find that people treat you differently after you disclose.

However, that doesn’t mean that you should keep your mental illness a secret forever. In my opinion, there are major benefits to telling other people about your mental illness, and disclosure can be a very positive step in your healing. It was in mine.

This week I will be writing a series of 4 articles on disclosure, covering topics such as whether you should disclose, overcoming fear of disclosure, and who you should tell first. I’ll be sharing my own experiences with going public, as well as any advice or warnings that I have picked up along the way.

Continue reading “Series: Telling Other People About Your Mental Illness” »

Miguel over at the Think Happy Thoughts Happiness Blog (I absolutely love that name) writes about the importance of writing down negative thoughts.

Writing down negative thoughts is a great idea and it is a very good way to help manage depression and anxiety. By writing out your negative thoughts you get them out of your mind and down on paper where you can study them and figure out if they are “real” thoughts or if they are just being sent to you by your depression. When you see your thoughts on paper they may not seem as overwhelmingly negative as they did inside your head, or, as Miguel puts it:

“Your mind recognizes the difference between what “should” be happening and what actually is happening. The greater the difference between OUGHT and IS, the more cognitive dissonance is felt emotionally. Close inspection of these untrue beliefs is the solution to negative thinking. A person can revise their beliefs by investigating them.”

Continue reading “Link: Write Down Negative Thoughts Immediately” »

I have to admit that I liked Ask Dan and Jennifer the moment I got to their site. Under some sexy pictures of the authors, Dan and Jennifer, was this headline:

“The Right Way and the Wrong Way to Kiss a Woman”

I thought, “All right! A relationship advice site with information that I can use!”

I was hooked. Not only were these guys good-looking, they had great relationship and dating advice for that real people could use. I loved their straightforward yet playful style.

Continue reading “Blog Review: Ask Dan and Jennifer” »

I love sticky notes. I think they are one of the greatest inventions of all time.

I use them everywhere. Right now, in my office, I have at least 10 that I can see in front of me, and another dozen or so more scattered around the room. I’m a bit crazy about them.

If you have a mental illness, sticky notes can be a real lifesaver. By using them, you can leave yourself important little messages that will be right there when you need them. I think that once you start using sticky notes to manage your life, you’ll wonder how you ever got by without them.

So grab a pen, and a pad of sticky notes, and lets go.

Continue reading “How to Use Sticky Notes to Make Your Life Easier” »

I’m frustrated by the way that our society handles suicide. On one hand, people who commit suicide, or who even think of suicide, are condemned as evil, selfish cowards, and on the other hand, we know and accept that suicide and suicidal thoughts are common symptoms of many mental illnesses.

This creates a conflict for anyone who suffers from a condition like depression, and who is troubled by suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts are a big warning sign that there is something wrong, yet even though we know that these thoughts have a medical cause, there is such a culture of shame and fear around suicide that most sufferers would rather keep silent and refuse treatment rather than ask for help.

Suicide is an act of desperation. People who commit suicide do so because they have given up on the hope that they will ever feel better. And by clinging to outdated myths and unfair notions about suicide, we as a society are failing to help these people. Each person who commits suicide is a loss for us all.

Continue reading “Four Dangerous Myths About Suicide and How to Avoid Them” »

Therapy is expensive. Really expensive. I used to joke with my therapist that for the amount of money that I spent on therapy I could have gone on a cruise, or at least had a great weekend in Vegas.

One thing to keep in mind when you are trying to figure out how to pay for therapy is that therapy is very important. Your mental health should be one of your top priorities. Therefore, when you are trying to balance your budget, or when you are looking for a way to pay for your therapy, try to keep things in perspective. Think of any money that you spend on therapy not as an expense, but as a necessary and positive investment in your future well-being and good mental health.

Continue reading “What to do When You Can’t Afford Therapy” »